Spamarrested Development

If you read all of the Blog Shares last week, you might have picked mine out. As one of the few guys (I'm assuming here) who participate, it is tough to share my deep darks as:

1. Using male-specific words would reveal who I am.

2. Using female-specific words would cause someone to think I was one of the ladies.

3. Using non-gender-specific words would bring about a comedy we haven't seen since "Boys Don't Cry".

I wrote the spam responses. I've done it before on Galoot's Hoot Page and I'll take another shot at it here today.

1. Describe Your Day - I slept in until 7:30 this morning. Took a shower. Walked the dog. The street cleaning truck was on our street. My son liked it a lot. I biked to work. A meeting this morning has been pushed back.
   
2. PopeWatch: Fox News Personally Confirms Pope's Death - On his deathbed, he absolved the "Fair And Balanced" news corporation of all their sins. In response, they doctored photos of him and put them on the air.
   
3. Vulcan! Quick! Go talk to him. Ask him to do that thing with the shoulder pinch. C'mon! He'll be gone in a few seconds. Do it! Shoot. He got on the bus. He's gone.
   
4. Bodyguards Positioned Outside Jolie's Vagina - They sing "I Will Always Love You", barbershop quartet style every night when it goes to sleep. Sweet dreams little Love Pitt.
   
5. Get An Instant Cut Off - No thanks. I wish I had more. Wait! Are we talking about something else?