1. Using male-specific words would reveal who I am.
2. Using female-specific words would cause someone to think I was one of the ladies.
3. Using non-gender-specific words would bring about a comedy we haven't seen since "Boys Don't Cry".
I wrote the spam responses. I've done it before on Galoot's Hoot Page and I'll take another shot at it here today.
- Describe Your Day - I slept in until 7:30 this morning. Took a shower. Walked the dog. The street cleaning truck was on our street. My son liked it a lot. I biked to work. A meeting this morning has been pushed back.
- PopeWatch: Fox News Personally Confirms Pope's Death - On his deathbed, he absolved the "Fair And Balanced" news corporation of all their sins. In response, they doctored photos of him and put them on the air.
- Vulcan! Quick! Go talk to him. Ask him to do that thing with the shoulder pinch. C'mon! He'll be gone in a few seconds. Do it! Shoot. He got on the bus. He's gone.
- Bodyguards Positioned Outside Jolie's Vagina - They sing "I Will Always Love You", barbershop quartet style every night when it goes to sleep. Sweet dreams little Love Pitt.
- Get An Instant Cut Off - No thanks. I wish I had more. Wait! Are we talking about something else?